In June 2015, I was told I had terminal cancer with weeks to live.
Once I’d come to term with that news, one of the hardest things I had to do was tell family and friends.
Even then, there is the constant demand for news. It’s natural. Your loved ones want to know what’s going on, but equally the do not want constantly disturb you for updates.
So, that was when I came up with the idea of a daily diary. This worked very well and it seemed that lots of people were getting a lot of benefit out of watching me deal with cancer. It seemed to help them address some of their fears about facing death themselves or facing the death of a loved one.
So, I decided to make these diaries available publicly. If they help one person then they will have been worth it.
Join me on My Journey.
Got a Question?
Want to know something about living with cancer? Is there something you really want to ask me?
Please just ask. If my answer can help you in some way, then I’ll gladly answer it.
Just click the button below and ask away!
I’ve created a separate page which contains the answer to these questions as well as living with cancer advice videos.
The Daily Diary Videos
13th September 2015 – The Runaway Leg
The night of the runaway leg.
Probably a great scene for Mr Bean or even a carry on Film. :0
12th September 2015 – Life in the Fast Bed!
Life in the Fast Bed!
Well, it finally came. I’m bed bound. No more wandering around.
Still, we’ve almost hit £15,000 so it’s all perfect timing.
11th September 2015 – Bed Baths!
Here begins the bed baths!
I just need thermal socks and my life is complete!
10th September 2015 – I hit the Bottle
It had to happen eventually and today it did. I finally hit the bottle.
9th September 2015 – The Big Clean and a Passed Bum Inspection
I think the title of this video says it all really.
8th September 2015 – The Nurse and the Window Cleaner!
Once again, random acts of kindness have humbled me. I have such a great support network of friends. I am truly blessed.
All I need now is one final push to £15,000.
I’ll stop at that point and devote all my time to Barbara, so please help me get this over the wire as fast as we can.
7th September 2015 – Sim City!
Not much to say. Sunday was a perfect day. The new bed continues to be excellent.
I am looking for your help though.
Any recommendation for a new online game for me to play. Something similar to Sim City (remember that?).
Also, an easy to use software package I could use to create a simple A4 brochure that I can easily add photographs into it. It’s to create a sort of photo album that I could then get printed as a bound brochure.
6th September 2015 – A Prayer for the Carers
It’s Sunday, say a prayer for the Carers.
Also, is my voice changing? You decide!
5th September 2015 – The New, New Bed (again!)
Yet another new bed. Will this one work? If it does, it will be a definite bonus as the new mattress is incredibly comfortable.
4th September 2015 – The New Bed!
The day of the new bed! We decided to swap out my old air mattress as the nurses and I suspected it wasn’t working quite right.
Seems we were right as the new one (when we got one that worked!) is infinitely more comfortable.
So, this might be happy days for the bed sores!
3rd September 2015 – Painful Dressing Removal
The day after the very Painful dressing change! Not something I’m in a hurry to repeat.
2nd September 2015 – Not a Perfect Day
Yesterday was definitely not a perfect day.
Mr Positivity took a holiday but hopefully I can get him back today.
Quick Update – Mr Positivity is Back!
1st September 2015 – Down and Dirty Bum Stories!
A rather clinical clinical description of my bum problems. You have been warned!
Also, how to bring a Hog Roast into your home.
Yes, you will have to watch the video to understand all that!
31st August 2015 – The Pain Mystery
A mystery regarding my increasing background pain levels and sleepiness is potentially solved!
Only time will tell.
30th August 2015 – Big shout out for the Nurses on Avon Ward
Happy days! I got my positivity back.
I need to get my morphine levels balanced as I’m sleeping a little too much but other than that I’m in good shape.
Last but not least, a shout out to the Nurses on Avon Ward.
Also, you get an album recommendation.
It’s all packed into todays exciting new episode!
29th August 2015 – From Perfect Day to Not so Perfect Day.
What started as potentially another perfect day ended in a pretty rotten day which unfortunately highlighted how weak I have become.
28th August 2015 – Perfect Day
Watch the video and I’ll explain. If I can!
27th August 2015 – Random Acts of Kindness
Yet again random acts of kindness from complete strangers. A lady donated a Bass guitar to Richard at Richard Guitars and has asked him to sell it for the charity fund.
In terms of my health, I can no longer manage the stairs so showers are out of the question. I’m now practicing to become the flannel bath king!
And best of all, my mum is here again.
26th August 2015 – A lovely lady called Wendy
Big update today. Pain under control as is the acid reflux.
Had the dentist in and got my tooth refilled, so that’s a relief.
And a lovely gesture from a local lady in the village called Wendy.
25th August 2015 – Pain back under Control
Pain seems to be back under control. No more gurgling either although feeling very full as though nothing is getting through the guts and it’s all just sitting there.
24th August 2015 – The Veg Patch Heartbreak
Pain control slipping a bit. Need to rethink it a bit.
The stomach has started gurgling again after week of being quiet so I really don’t want that kicking off again.
I’m getting weaker and getting out of bed is proving more of a challenge. I may not be able to get to see my veg patch again, which is heart breaking.
23rd August 2015 – Steve Hackett
Not much to say today. Pain under control. Watched the storms last night.
I do recommend three rather excellent CD’s that kept me company yesterday. All by Steve Hackett.
Wolfflight, Bay of Kings and Tribute.
22nd August 2015 – Wet Bums and Soap
The day Roger failed Bum inspection but luckily Ken was on hand with lovely French soap.
Yes, you will have to watch the video to understand all that!
21st August 2015 – Eyebrows and Failed Bum Inspections
Well the eyebrows got their much needed trim. What do you think?
Also, the wound on my backside failed inspection so we’ve now had to apply a dressing to it. You have to take bedsores very seriously, otherwise you can get into lots of problems. So, whilst I joke, it was something that needed taking care of.
20th August 2015 – The Eyebrows
The Day of the Eyebrows. Time they got a trim.
I’ve no idea why my facial hair is growing so fast. It has to be one of the drugs!
19th August 2015 – Special Guest
Today’s video featuring a very special guest.
As you can see, she lift’s my spirit. Hats off to mom’s everywhere!
18th August 2015 – Don’t Panic
All good. Pain under control. Reiki sesson done. Enjoying my complete Steve Hackett CD collection.
17th August 2015 – Leaking Syringe Driver
I’m afraid this is a slightly depressing report as I’d had a particularly bad night. However, it ends well because we found the reason was a faulty syringe drivers rather than something more sinister from the cancer.
16th August 2015 – Losing a Filling!
I was pleased to report that my previous day had been a nearly perfect day. Quality time spent with Barbara and I was able to get loads done as I seemed to have bags of energy.
Pain levels were fine, however I still decided to increase the morphine in the syringe driver. I explain why in the video.
15th August 2015 – The Journey
An update on my new YouTube channel called The Journey.
Also, my car is finally sold. A bitter sweet moment.
And, a tribute to a fantastic friend who’s going a lot of extra miles for me on a massive bike ride to fight cancer.
14th August 2015 – Antibiotics Sickness
Not a great day. Bad night due to really bad acid from my antibiotics.
One of the problems with fighting cancer is getting the balance right across all the different drugs you have to take. You end up taking drugs to counter the drugs!
13th August 2015 – New Antibiotics
A change in antibiotics is causing me some issues.
One of the problems with enjoying a quality of life when fighting cancer is trying to get the balance right between the various drugs and their effects.
12th August 2015 – Ming the Merciless
So, a bit of fun. Yes, you are allowed to have fun when beating cancer.
Check out my eyebrows!
11 August 2015 – Cov & Warks Breakfast Show
The Coventry and Warwickshire Breakfast show was very interesting to do.
10th August 2015 – The Day After the BBC Interview
The day after the BBC interview!
So I give the inside story about what it’s like to be interviewed by the BBC.
9th August 2015 – Eyebrows Close up!
My eyebrows seem to be attracting a lot of attention these days!
8th August 2015 – Stratford TV
Stratford TV spent ages with me putting together a video I could use for the charity appeal.
I can’t thank them enough.
7th August 2015 – Bums and Bladders
Bums and Bladders. Yes you read that right!
Time to get personal about a few problems I’m having.
6th August 2015 – Shakespeare Summer Fete & Scalextric Racing
Time to plug two great events at the weekend. The Shakespeare Summer Fete and the Annual Scaletrix Championship Race at Phoenix Scaletrix.
5th August 2015 – The Kindness of Monsoon Estates
The kindness of Monsoon Estates. What can I say. The video explains it all but these people are just wonderful and one in a million.
4th August 2015 – Reiki Sally
I was a real sceptic when it comes to alternative therapy. One of the things that this decease has taught me is to try anything at least once.
I’ve no illusions that Reiki could cure me. All I was looking for was could it help relax and ease pain.
Well, you’ll hear the answer in the video!
3rd August 2015 – Reconnecting with Old Friends
One of the really positive things to come out of this is that I’ve rediscovered and reconnecting with old friends
It’s been so special that the cancer is almost worth it.
2nd August 2015 – The Perfect Day
The perfect day.
Sometimes even when you are fighting cancer, it is possible to have a perfect day. I did, It can be done!
1st August 2015 – The BBQ at the Boars Head, Hampton Lucy.
The report on the BBQ at the Boars Head from the night before. A great event that raised £450.
31st July 2015 – The one about my Guitar
Heart breaker this one. It’s where I sold my prized Ovation Guitar.
One of the hardest things with this cancer is losing the ability to do certain things and playing the guitar was one I lost.
I just don’t have the hand coordination now. To weak.
So, rather than torture myself looking at the guitar, I decided to sell her and raise money for the appeal.
30th July 2015 – The one about bed wetting!
OK, so now we have a bed wetting episode. However all is not as it seems
29th July 2015 – The Choc Ice Decision
The Choc Ice Decision.
I’ve been unable to eat food for weeks because it gets stuck in my shrinking guts. Ice cream is fine but I’m not sure about the chocolate around a choc ice. My life is full of these difficult decisions.
28th July 2015 – First Night without Leakage!
My first night without leakage! You’ll have to watch the video to understand
27th July 2015 – My first ramblings. It’s a bit long!
After a few days of putting up a written diary on Facebook, I decided a video diary would be a better option.
So this is the first one!
So, some people wanted to know more about my specific cancer. So I decided to explain exactly what the cancer is that I have and how it is going to end my life.
I hope this helps anyone who is facing this challenge themselves. I also hope it helps friends & family come to terms with their final days.
Do not watch this if you feel it will be too upsetting as I do not pull my punches.